I’ve been reading a ton of self-help books lately, and while they’ve successfully managed to get me pumped up and have been great as calm-ifying resources, I haven’t had much luck following through other than being all, “fuck yeah, let’s do this!” before retreating back into my solo pity party of rage.
But last night, I read a self-help guide geared specifically toward making a marriage work <– a sub-genre I guess I’d been specifically avoiding as I made my way through Amazon’s eBook selection. I read through the first few chapters, and I completed the exercises in my red composition notebook with my ultra-fine Sharpie marker.
And for the first night in days, maybe weeks, I went to sleep free of anger, I slept peacefully, and I woke up without the feeling of not-quite-indigestion and uncertainty that’s been plaguing me.
Is your marriage on the big sharp mother-fucking rocks? Then read this: Fix Your Marriage – 10 Simple Steps To Put The Joy And Intimacy Back In Your Marriage
You have nothing to lose by doing so, and you either try following the advice or you don’t. Simple as that. Better than crying about it, yeah? It might not work out, but you will never be unhappy with yourself for having tried.
You know when you’re angry? After you’re lied to and/or betrayed? You know how so often, you end up playing the blame game, and shit just gets worse?
It’s time to stop.
It’s hard as hell, but fighting doesn’t work, right? If you’re past the point of reasoning like two reasonable adults, then quit it with the never-ending vocal vomit, and let your actions speak.
Nobody likes being put on blast (whether the fucker deserves it or not), so continuously reminding the other person of his or her misdeeds will most likely not have the intended effect.
It’s not really the best tactic for resolving a relationship problem.
Focus on yourself, and don’t let your anger, anguish, and pain control you.
Let your pain and anger control you, and you lose.
Be the better person, and let it show through your actions.
Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, (etc., etc.) time, please, for the love of all that is good in the world,GTFO.
Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody deserves forgiveness.
We trick ourselves into believing that things are going to change, but when you look at the repeated behavior pattern and consistent relationship issues they cause, it’s not logical to believe that would be the case.
When it comes down to real action, to making real changes in our lives, we hem and haw and make excuses for the very disrespectful, dishonest, and just overall sheisty ass behavior that makes us simultaneously burn up with anger and die a little inside.
Don’t give that person the satisfaction.