Before you go to bed tonight, take the time to sit down with a pen and paper. <– Seriously, nix typing this on the computer, and ditch the tablet and smartphone. There’s something insanely cathartic about doing this completely by hand.
Make a list of no less than five things that were happy, positive, or just otherwise didn’t fucking suck (a positive outlook has to begin somewhere, right?) that happened today. Bonus points if you can come up with a list of non-shitty things the object of your anger did.
Do this every night, or at least a few times a week.
Feel the anger dissipate. You don’t have to forgive to understand, and understanding will help you to move on and make the best decisions for you.
I’ve been reading a ton of self-help books lately, and while they’ve successfully managed to get me pumped up and have been great as calm-ifying resources, I haven’t had much luck following through other than being all, “fuck yeah, let’s do this!” before retreating back into my solo pity party of rage.
But last night, I read a self-help guide geared specifically toward making a marriage work <– a sub-genre I guess I’d been specifically avoiding as I made my way through Amazon’s eBook selection. I read through the first few chapters, and I completed the exercises in my red composition notebook with my ultra-fine Sharpie marker.
And for the first night in days, maybe weeks, I went to sleep free of anger, I slept peacefully, and I woke up without the feeling of not-quite-indigestion and uncertainty that’s been plaguing me.
Is your marriage on the big sharp mother-fucking rocks? Then read this: Fix Your Marriage – 10 Simple Steps To Put The Joy And Intimacy Back In Your Marriage
You have nothing to lose by doing so, and you either try following the advice or you don’t. Simple as that. Better than crying about it, yeah? It might not work out, but you will never be unhappy with yourself for having tried.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.
– Bernard M. Baruch
When it comes to relationships, if you keep your true feelings hidden , if you pretend to be something you’re not, you’re bound to get screwed.
You hear stuff like this all the fucking time, but it’s true.
If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t respect yourself, if you don’t feel worthy, then you’re making life infinitely harder for yourself.
How? Why? Well, mostly because when you lack these selfish qualities of loving yourself, respecting yourself and being confident in yourself, then you’re more likely to also be the type of person who is paying way too much attention to the people in your life who don’t deserve to be there, all the while pushing away those who do.
The above quote is from this article. They’re totes worth a like/follow on Facebook.
We’ve got memories like elephants, and while we might forget why we feel the way we do, the impressions in our hearts created by the happiness and anger and sadness and joy we feel … well, that sticks around.
So, before you act like a jerk, think about the consequences. And if you’re having a hard time letting go, remember that you’re only human . . . and you’re not the only one who has trouble “getting over” the crap that you’ve been through.
Never let it be said that you did not try your best.
One of the worst things you can feel is that you didn’t try hard enough and that you didn’t do the best you could. It sucks to feel that maybe you could have done more. Maybe you should have tried harder.
But you know what?
You know you did your best. You know. And that’s all that matters.