don’t wallow. do something.

Allowing anger, sadness, and pain to fester inside is an invitation for insanity to come a’ creeping.

Be angry. Let your fury burn.

Then let it go.

Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean. - Maya Angelou

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make it work, maybe?

I’ve been reading a ton of self-help books lately, and while they’ve successfully managed to get me pumped up and have been great as calm-ifying resources, I haven’t had much luck following through other than being all, “fuck yeah, let’s do this!” before retreating back into my solo pity party of rage.

But last night, I read a self-help guide geared specifically toward making a marriage work <– a sub-genre I guess I’d been specifically avoiding as I made my way through Amazon’s eBook selection. I read through the first few chapters, and I completed the exercises in my red composition notebook with my ultra-fine Sharpie marker.

And for the first night in days, maybe weeks, I went to sleep free of anger, I slept peacefully, and I woke up without the feeling of not-quite-indigestion and uncertainty that’s been plaguing me.

Is your marriage on the big sharp mother-fucking rocks? Then read this: Fix Your Marriage – 10 Simple Steps To Put The Joy And Intimacy Back In Your Marriage

You have nothing to lose by doing so, and you either try following the advice or you don’t. Simple as that. Better than crying about it, yeah? It might not work out, but you will never be unhappy with yourself for having tried.

it might not work out, but you will never be unhappy with yourself for having tried.

sometimes you need to be selfish

You hear stuff like this all the fucking time, but it’s true.

If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t respect yourself, if you don’t feel worthy, then you’re making life infinitely harder for yourself.

How? Why? Well, mostly because when you lack these selfish qualities of loving yourself, respecting yourself and being confident in yourself, then you’re more likely to also be the type of person who is paying way too much attention to the people in your life who don’t deserve to be there, all the while pushing away those who do.

quote from Marc and Angel Hack Life - marcandangel.com

The above quote is from this article. They’re totes worth a like/follow on Facebook.

Let your actions speak

You know when you’re angry? After you’re lied to and/or betrayed? You know how so often, you end up playing the blame game, and shit just gets worse?

It’s time to stop.

fewlovetohear

It’s hard as hell, but fighting doesn’t work, right? If you’re past the point of reasoning like two reasonable adults, then quit it with the never-ending vocal vomit, and let your actions speak.

Nobody likes being put on blast (whether the fucker deserves it or not), so continuously reminding the other person of his or her misdeeds will most likely not have the intended effect.

It’s not really the best tactic for resolving a relationship problem.

Focus on yourself, and don’t let your anger, anguish, and pain control you.

Let your pain and anger control you, and you lose.

Be the better person, and let it show through your actions.

Fool me once, shame on you

Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, (etc., etc.) time, please, for the love of all that is good in the world,GTFO.

Everybody makes mistakes, and everybody deserves forgiveness.

But…

We trick ourselves into believing that things are going to change, but when you look at the repeated behavior pattern and consistent relationship issues they cause, it’s not logical to believe that would be the case.

fool me once, shame on you.  fool me twice, shame on me.

When it comes down to real action, to making real changes in our lives, we hem and haw and make excuses for the very disrespectful, dishonest, and just overall sheisty ass behavior that makes us simultaneously burn up with anger and die a little inside.

Fuck that.

Don’t give that person the satisfaction.